edmontone demos volume three

by braden gates

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1.
when I hear you talking about leaving town it breaks my heart that this place let you down that I let you down and that I will again with every word left unsaid but rest assured, you’ll find grace it’s in your blood, it’s in your name and this talk of leaving ain’t some excuse no baby, it’s just another reason for the blues my old home town I left behind only whispers in my mind only shadows in my dreams only strangers walk them streets and when I go back in my head I only wish that I’d never left and when I find there’s nothing left to do I find another reason for the blues when I hear those sirens they bring me to those long dark nights laying shaking next to you two lovers on their way back home looking for a piece of freedom to call their own but I found pain on your front steps as I held you while you wept and you said love could pull us through but I knew love was just another reason for the blues I sit in silence on 78 the same damn road where we danced in the rain I sit broken, sit misused talk is cheap when you’re fumbling for the truth I may be bad, I may be a saint you can draw me up in whatever way in that portrait that you paint I made need love, I may love you but I don’t need another reason for the blues
2.
I’ve had my fair share, I’ve had my pick I’ve made my money and just gambled it I’ve not a believer in holding on it’s too late to change my mind when I’m already gone it’s okay to cry now, baby it’s okay to cry now, honey it’s okay to cry now, babe I never get that far way I’ve found glory in the dirt of a back alley brawl too drunk to cry now and too sick to call everyone needs a witness, everyone needs a saint everyone pleads forgiveness with one foot in their grave it’s okay to cry now, baby it’s okay to cry now, honey it’s okay to cry now, babe I never get that far way
3.
I have a few things to my name a desperation for the patron saint a friend in Jesus and a question in faith I have a few things to my name it was dark when I first kissed your lips unsure at first but we eased into it my mama told me to watch out for this it was dark when we first kissed it’s just a matter of time, don’t look back now you leave it behind then figure it out somehow there’s a whole lot of love in a losing game it’s just a matter of time before it slips away there’s a whole lot of love in a losing game the trick is to find it before it slips away thrown out of a bar downtown drinking too much and running my mouth it takes a lot of blood just to straighten me out thrown out of a bar downtown that’s when I saw mary in the way you moved bright light in a darkened room couldn’t help but keep my eyes on you I saw mary in the way you moved it’s just a matter of time, don’t look back now you leave it behind then figure it out somehow there’s a whole lot of love in a losing game it’s just a matter of time before it slips away there’s a whole lot of love in a losing game the trick is to find it before it slips away
4.
late night diner coffee, half way through our second cup talking about what we want to do and fumbling over what we’ve already done she takes her coffee black and I take mine with cream she says, ‘ don’t be so silly boy, how’re going to taste the coffee bean it may be a little rough around the edges but I kind of like it that way’ late night diner coffee I look into her eyes and try not to glance away I’ve been learning how to love in the most vulnerable way I say, ‘be careful with me and I’ll be careful with you we’ll hold on to the little things to pull us through I’m a little rough around the edges but I kind of like it that way’ late night diner coffee it’s a new love like learning to walk, slow and steady you run when you’re ready it’s a new love like learning to talk, you find the right words and she finds hers, new love It’s coming on midnight she she says, ‘I think it’s time to go’ I say, ‘I think you’re right, can I take you home?’ leaving that diner never felt so good you can call it fate if you think you should it’s still a little rough around the edges, but I kind of like it that way late night diner coffee it’s a new love like learning to walk, slow and steady you run when you’re ready it’s a new love like learning to talk, you find the right words and she finds hers, new love
5.
outside of the east entrance of the Londonderry mall there are kids with skateboards trying new tricks over and over again, one after another until they get their new trick fix all of these new tricks have got the security guards in fits, they chase the kids away out here on the northside it’s just another day I stumble into the mall and make my way over to the alberts family restaurant every day it’s the same, I’vee been there so many times now they start calling me by my first name as long as they keep pouring the coffee, I’ll drink the coffee dry it’s just what I’ve been doing out here on the northside oh I wish I was in new york city oh I wish I was in montreal I wish that I could stop time but I can only try, out here on the northside I almost hit a couple of pedestrians on my home I didn’t see ‘em until the very last minute I slammed on the brakes, rubber burned on pavement and fortunately enough them pedestrians got off with out a hit I didn’t say a word, I didn’t scream, I didn’t even cry I just kept on driving with the blues out here on the northside oh I wish I was in new york city oh I wish I was in montreal I wish that I could stop time but I can only try, out here on the northside
6.
there it is, the one knee proposal I saw it coming months ago isn’t love great, isn’t love grand find a date that fits in your calendar life’s so busy, plan for the new year go in hand in hand find the dress you’ve always dreamed of as a little girl, quiet and love struck look at you now, bride to be gather the groomsmen, gather the maids floral arrangements and dinner plates isn’t love grand, isn’t love great these are the moments where history lives what an adventure this life gives cut the cake and eat it too celebrate the story that’s being written by you there will be joy, there will be tears and folks you’ve not seen in years friends from high school send the invitations, plan the honeymoon you gotta do what you gotta do and you do it all for you as daddy walks you, mama’s gonna cry I’ll be there right by her side she’ll ask, ‘where’d the time go?’ and with the exchange of vows I’ll take her hand together we’ll watch as you commit to your man and let love guide you home these are the moments where history lives what an adventure this life gives cut the cake and eat it too celebrate the story that’s being written by you
7.
daddy’s in steal toes out in the garage changing out the tires, putting winter ones on he’s so matter of fact, right on track he works his way around them rusted hubcaps and I give him a hand, hell I’ll give him two ain’t that the best his boy can do we start in the front then on to the back together we work around them rusted hubcaps I drove my car into a tree the first snowfall of the year I turned 18 my bumper cracked, my radiator leaked I had rusted, busted hubcaps I tried to take a drift in the neighborhood I liked to think I could drive better than I actually could and after the crash, my daddy laughed at my rusted, busted hubcaps it’s coming on midnight on highway 16 I’m out of coffee, cigarettes and gasoline I’ve been out west and back, even further than that every mile on my rusted, busted hubcaps I pull in for fuel behind a GMC it couldn’t be newer than a ‘93 and just like that, I see my daddy’s hand right in the middle if it’s rusted hubcaps
8.
nobody’s crying here, but nobody’s happy it seems we’re damned if we can and damned if we can’t be ‘quit beating around the bush’ she said ‘just tell me what you want I’m tired of giving this thing everything I got’ it’s another cup of coffee, it’s another cigarette it’s another way to dance around what will break us in the end it’s another day in limbo, it’s another night in vain it’s another god damn promenade through heavy rain give me something real, something new something more than holding on to you something true, nothing borrowed something that will get me to tomorrow I missed the last train to Alberta, guess I’ll hitch a ride maybe find some sort of answer in the way a stranger drives Ontario’s in the rearview but I ain’t looking back she said, ‘leave my to my living’ and it’s a simple as that the highway loves a gambler an the highway loves a sin and each town along the way will spit you out as soon as you are in it’s another day in limbo, it’s another night in vain it’s another god damn promenade through heavy rain give me something real, something new something more than holding on to you something true, nothing borrowed something that will get me to tomorrow
9.
I’m not used to so much small talk I’m not concerned with how things unfold throughout the day everything feels so unimportant still beautiful, but somehow mundane I’ve tried to get out of the city find myself in someone else’s shoes but regardless of how far I push myself away I still find the same old blues there it is again, the same old feeling same old thing there it is again, it is thunder, it is rain there it is again, you think you’ve lost it but just wait there it is again I lost my lover with one thousand goodbyes I wanted nothing to do with all of them and in the moments when I can feel her next to me I do my best to hold on to them I try to find the perfect words in poetry in used bookstores and in shopping malls something to hold on to as the sun sets something to reach for when I fall there it is again, the same old feeling same old thing there it is again, it is thunder, it is rain there it is again, you think you’ve lost it but just wait there it is again there she is again, the same old feeling same old thing there she is again, she is thunder, she is rain there she is again, you think you’ve lost her but just wait there she is again
10.
this old house, it’s seen its fair share of sorrow joy for today hope for tomorrow this old house, it holds nights I can’t recall I’ve watched seasons turn, letters burn, and heard lovers call in this old house, in this old house these old jeans, they hold whispers of romance once a navy blue now faded in my hands these old jeans, the color of her eyes been worn so thin, again and again my love never dies, for these old jeans for these old jeans this old guitar, holds my blood on string it fits just right in my hands as I sing with this old guitar, I find words I could never find on my own busted seams, forgotten dreams and memories of home with this old guitar, with this old guitar
11.
where’d that love go like when we first fell in dancing until dawn somewhere somehow life sets in and then that spark is gone it was there when we first locked eyes I would call you sweetheart it was such a sweet surprise but it’s no longer ours there’s trouble in paradise a love grown cold there’s no difference between a fool and a man when a man can’t go home trouble in paradise where’d that love go like when we first set sail crossing waters wide what once was an oceans holy grail now washes with the tide love would come to us in plenty you were saving grace now you are just one of many memories to place there’s trouble in paradise a love grown cold there’s no difference between a fool and a man when a man can’t go home trouble in paradise

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recorded on March 18th, 2016 at Edmontone Studios with Jesse Northey

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released March 24, 2016

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braden gates Edmonton, Alberta

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